LADY BUNNY is THE Hardest Working Drag Queen working today nbsp We first met Bun Bun about 7 8 nbsp nbsp years ago when she brought nbsp a mini version of Wigstock to Chicago nbsp Since then our paths have crossed many times in many different cities nbsp nbsp New York nbsp Fort Lauderdale Toronto Puerto Vallartra and most recently nbsp nbsp nbsp nbsp in New nbsp Orleans for Decadence nbsp nbsp where we caught up and chatted over carrots nbsp nbsp and nbsp her Skyy Vodka Infusion Drink How does she appear to nbsp do it all I asked for a spirit in show biz and I got it Besides they are all so ill of me in NYC that I am co

strained to go on the road practically every week Sometimes I don t recognize how I keep up such a hectic pace but it s a recession you worry when that phone STOPS ringing not when it rings So I m grateful for the work and if I m playing or dj ing in a position I like I can sometimes stay on for a few years and grab a free vacation That s definitely a perk And I m getting set to dj for the designer Paco Rabanne for a Paris fashion week party Paco is better known for his fragrances nowadays but he was the innovative designer who created all of those gorgeous chain mail mini s in the late 60 s and also designed the costumes for Jane Fonda in Barbarella I m so frantic to see one of my inspirations Since she travels more than anyone I recognise and has more frequent flyers than you can wag a wig at our chat turned to travel tips and advice Flying used to be glamorous Remember pretty young stewardesses Now it s a humiliating chore Removing your shoes Sometime the fumes off of Lady Bunion s hooves are so strong that I m afraid the TSA will think I m a terrorist toting biological warfare But here are a few tips that I trust by NEVER Stay IN CURBSIDE You re just allowing your bag to go through one more radical of morons and upping the odds of having it not come with you Just imagine me arriving in nbsp Puerta Vallarta on a Sunday evening with an hour before I go on and search through the few open shops for a big wig and a size 12 pump It s time for that poncho made from a hotel bedspread and a towel turban hideous So I suggest packing a few of your absolute musts in your conduct on It may be a little embarrassing to force out that dildo at the checkpoint but hey what if you don t get lucky in Mobile Of course how lucky can you be if you really are in Mobile ARRIVE SUPER EARLY An hour and a half for checked bags on domestic trips You never know when you are gonna get stuck behind a train trip and the 50 idiotic tween girls don t know they get to take their jewelry before going through the metal detector This can give security take 30 minutes alone and once the gate is closed it ain t re opening It s also advisable to book your trip on an airline which has another flight flights on that day only in case And remember that indirect flight on Orbitz or Travelocity may be cheaper but if you are on an indirect flight on two separate airlines you could actually miss out if the first carrier is deep and you lose your link on a different airline the second airline has NO obligation whatsoever for your ass Also when booking your itinerary factor in rush hour traffic to what sentence you get so that you don t get stuck in traffic after a hateful flight And speaking of rush POPPERS ARE FLAMMABLE Even though they might make your sex life hotter they could be yanked from your luggage along with lighter fluid or even aerosol hairspray A friend pointed this out after flying into the Provincetown airport where they actually make a contract about poppers Mommy what s amyl nitrate nbsp PACK LIGHT Now that airlines are charging for checked luggage everyone is stressful to jam as often as they can in their carry ons and I have literally seen fights breaking out for the overhead space on board And since more airlines are using smaller planes with teensy overhead compartments for domestic flights make certain you get one very little bag for your laptop etc You don t wanna gate check that because if you re smart you ve already put up your personals ad on craigslist in your destination city before departing and you don t wanna arrive computer less and drop out on the sweet meat appeal which you ve lost in your own city decades ago Plus it s kinda tacky to check personals in a hotel business center With one possible exception unless there is a church convention at your hotel You definitely want to dismay as many of those prudes as you can with graphic images and the moaning from xtube videos at top volume Amen PACK A SNACK Obviously I wish to eat But everyone has to eat at even intervals and unless your metabolism can worm some nutrition out of a tiny bag of pretzels made with white flour you re blood sugar will plummet and your flight will be wretched I get a feeling of hypoglacemia so I get to regular doses of protein I am not yet going to ask what kind of protein she is talk about This makes me especially aware of this situation But if there s no food on board and you are constrained to sit on the flat for an hour after boarding before a long flight even the most carb conscious queen is gonna snatch every pretzel available and oink it Nuts are the most obvious choice for a nibble since they are chock full of protein and can t spoil So squirrel by a big salty sack of nuts you ve got dirty minds and buy them at a market or drug store to avoid paying 15 bucks per handful at an airport kiosk BECOME A SCHNER That s a book a jewish friend taught me He said that it s jewish for somebody who grabs everything for free Wait Isn t that sort of excess in the jewish community KIDDING Anyhoo many better hotels offer complimentary toiletry basics to guests who may have forgotten to pack shaving cream razors toothbrushes etc Snatch them all And ask the maiden for extra coffee lotion mouthwash shampoo and conditioner Make a use of this and before you live it you ve got an array of travel sized everything And we all know that liquids are heavy you can t take them on and regular sized bottles of these products will really weigh your bags down and up those overage fees I haven t purchase a bar of soap in years Or a needle and weave for that matter nbsp FORCE FEED SEDATIVES TO ALL SQUAWKING BRATS There oughta be a law And never pop your own dolls until you are at the gate and have seen the level and an on time departure is announced Otherwise you could snore right through the boarding process IMMEDIATELY PUT OUT THE DO NOT DISTURB SIGN ON YOUR DOOR It s especially good if you also create your own homemade sign which says DO NOT DISTURB ALREADY DISTURBED written in blood and posted with a knife jammed through it into the door Otherwise you ll be catching a disco nap and some dunce in a foreign language will try to introduce your way for a turn down service I play that service down Who on earth needs someone to pull back the covers and put a coffee on the bed I m a bottom so any chocolate on the bed brings back too many shitty memories Also make certain you pose a do not trouble on your hotel phone line as well That way you won t be upset by a wrong number from that bridal party next door or some kiss ass from the front desk calling to see if everything is alright Yes it s fine Until you woke me up with that stupid question CLICK And make sure to check that the alert is off or set to when you wish it or else you ll bolt up at the 6 00 AM which the businessman who last stayed in your room set it to And if you are like me that s right about when you are getting to bed Fabulous Bunny Photos by Sergio Kardenas 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